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Celeste (Video Game 2018)
In which I write way too many words about the plot of a game I've never played.
Note: Spoilers follow. The plot concerns mental health issues (depression, anxiety) so proceed with caution.
Celeste begins with our protagonist, a red-headed woman named Madeline (unless you name her something else), who is trying to climb Celeste Mountain (named after a real mountain on Vancouver Island!) She meets an old lady who lives on the mountain who tells Madeline that the mountain may show her things she may not be ready to see. Madeline, however, is determined to Climb The Mountain. The wikipedia plot summary covers most of the important plot points. This is more thoughts and reflections than a recap.
On her first night on the mountain, Madeline dreams that she finds a mirror and her reflection escapes from it. When she finds her reflection again, her reflection (called "Part of You" in the game, but Badeline by the developers XD) tells Madeline that this is a terrible idea, she's going to fail, "you aren't a mountain climber" and "we should go home". This happens several times, her reflection insisting that Madeline should give up and go home because she can't do it, that when she sabotages Madeline at every turn she's doing Madeline a favour. I found it surprisingly confronting! I've been struggling a lot with going back to uni and figuring out what's expected of me there, and this all felt so real. And when Madeline tells Theo “I can’t stop thinking about dumb stuff that doesn’t matter. My brain fixates on these stupid things that happened forever ago.”, that's straight out of my own head.
Eventually Madeline decides that the Mountain is telling her to get rid of her reflection, since it's everything she hates about herself. She is, of course, wrong about this, and her reflection is furious and hurt to be so rejected. Eventually the old lady suggests that maybe the other part of Madeline is scared. Armed with that knowledge, Madeline finally talks with her other part, apologises for trying to get rid of her, acknowledges her reflection's fears, and they form an alliance to finally finish climbing the Mountain.
It's a happy ending! Madeline climbs the mountain and promises to listen to her other part in future. Yay! However, I'm not quite sure how to work with my own anxiety and self-doubt in order to conquer metaphorical mountains. Maybe the lesson is to stop hating yourself, listen to what your anxiety is trying to say and figure out whether it's being rational or not? I did find this concept useful when I was trying to decide if I wanted to drop to part time study next semester because I was scared or because it was a sensible choice. (And in the end I chose to go part-time.) But quite frequently my anxiety has nothing helpful to say, like when I can't sleep after social events because I'm convinced I committed some terrible faux pas and didn't notice. Hmm. (I don't think the metaphor here is that taking medication is the equivalent of trying to abandon part of yourself, I think it's realising that you have to find ways to understand the way your brain works and work with what you have.)
But I'm also trying to be conscious that this is a video game about a character, not, say, a self-help book or actual therapy.
Madeline's encounter with Mr Oshiro is interesting. It leans hard on the idea that not setting or enforcing boundaries can lead to harm for both parties. Mr Oshiro is not a "bad person"! He's also suffering from his own grief, anxiety and resulting self-delusion. But with Madeline being unwilling to convince him to accept a "no" from her, they both end up hurt by the experience when she's pushed to force the issue. I remember reading an article about Spirited Away once, in which Miyazaki says that No-Face is something like a stalker, and Chihiro's kindness to it without regard for her own (or her coworkers') safety is what leads to his corruption. For me, it's very uncomfortable to think about kindness as a negative trait, although I intellectually understand the point the idea is trying to make. Something to ponder.
Theo's story is a bit more unclear to me. So here's what I know about Theo (the other person climbing the mountain that Madeline meets along the way):
- He has a real Instagram (I love this so much)
- He was very close to his grandfather, who had a life-changing experience on Celeste Mountain as a young man, and has passed away
- He really wants to reach 1000 followers on InstaPix!
- He doesn't feel a drive to reach the summit, he just wants to go as far as he can, see some cool things along the way, and take photos for social media
- His sister Alex is extremely driven and accomplished (and Madeline reminds him of her), but he insists he's not envious of her
- He feels unsatisfied with his life and uncertain about who he wants to be, and has tried various things to try and correct it, such as moving to Seattle for a new job, which he hates. He then quit his new job after posting a photo of his grandfather to InstaPix and musing about whether his grandfather would be disappointed in him
- His grandfather taught him a breathing technique to help with panic attacks
- He gets sucked inside a mirror while taking a selfie inside a mysterious temple, and then subsequently trapped inside a crystal, while huge eyes in the temple walls follow him whereverhe goes Madeline carries him to
- He's freed from the crystal by being thrown into a giant eyeball. (If you're reading this and are unfamiliar with the game, no, it's not a horror game, but this part is pretty creepy, yes.)
So I think the eyes in the temple walls represent his desire to be noticed (eg. on social media), but I'm not sure what to make of the crystal. Is it the way he feels trapped by his life? Trapped by his unwillingness to commit to anything permanent? That's... sort of the opposite of feeling trapped though. Trapped by the expectations he doesn't think he can live up to?
Some final notes:
- I've seen a few people make the joke that because Madeline's mom's sprite during the phone call has blue hair, she's permanently lost her dash. I like to think her mom just had to dash to answer the phone instead ;)
- With regard to Madeline's age, the way she talks about work and her life definitely sounds like an adult to me. Probably older than Theo.
- On that note, I love that Theo immediately thinks Madeline is having problems at work (which she denies) - projecting much?
- Unpopular opinion alert: my favourite B-Side track is chapter 2's, "Old Site (Black Moonrise Mix)"
- But my favourite A-Side is "Reach for the Summit"
- I'm looking forward to watching some Twitch streamers play Chapter 9 when it's released!
Note: Spoilers follow. The plot concerns mental health issues (depression, anxiety) so proceed with caution.
Celeste begins with our protagonist, a red-headed woman named Madeline (unless you name her something else), who is trying to climb Celeste Mountain (named after a real mountain on Vancouver Island!) She meets an old lady who lives on the mountain who tells Madeline that the mountain may show her things she may not be ready to see. Madeline, however, is determined to Climb The Mountain. The wikipedia plot summary covers most of the important plot points. This is more thoughts and reflections than a recap.
On her first night on the mountain, Madeline dreams that she finds a mirror and her reflection escapes from it. When she finds her reflection again, her reflection (called "Part of You" in the game, but Badeline by the developers XD) tells Madeline that this is a terrible idea, she's going to fail, "you aren't a mountain climber" and "we should go home". This happens several times, her reflection insisting that Madeline should give up and go home because she can't do it, that when she sabotages Madeline at every turn she's doing Madeline a favour. I found it surprisingly confronting! I've been struggling a lot with going back to uni and figuring out what's expected of me there, and this all felt so real. And when Madeline tells Theo “I can’t stop thinking about dumb stuff that doesn’t matter. My brain fixates on these stupid things that happened forever ago.”, that's straight out of my own head.
Eventually Madeline decides that the Mountain is telling her to get rid of her reflection, since it's everything she hates about herself. She is, of course, wrong about this, and her reflection is furious and hurt to be so rejected. Eventually the old lady suggests that maybe the other part of Madeline is scared. Armed with that knowledge, Madeline finally talks with her other part, apologises for trying to get rid of her, acknowledges her reflection's fears, and they form an alliance to finally finish climbing the Mountain.
It's a happy ending! Madeline climbs the mountain and promises to listen to her other part in future. Yay! However, I'm not quite sure how to work with my own anxiety and self-doubt in order to conquer metaphorical mountains. Maybe the lesson is to stop hating yourself, listen to what your anxiety is trying to say and figure out whether it's being rational or not? I did find this concept useful when I was trying to decide if I wanted to drop to part time study next semester because I was scared or because it was a sensible choice. (And in the end I chose to go part-time.) But quite frequently my anxiety has nothing helpful to say, like when I can't sleep after social events because I'm convinced I committed some terrible faux pas and didn't notice. Hmm. (I don't think the metaphor here is that taking medication is the equivalent of trying to abandon part of yourself, I think it's realising that you have to find ways to understand the way your brain works and work with what you have.)
But I'm also trying to be conscious that this is a video game about a character, not, say, a self-help book or actual therapy.
Madeline's encounter with Mr Oshiro is interesting. It leans hard on the idea that not setting or enforcing boundaries can lead to harm for both parties. Mr Oshiro is not a "bad person"! He's also suffering from his own grief, anxiety and resulting self-delusion. But with Madeline being unwilling to convince him to accept a "no" from her, they both end up hurt by the experience when she's pushed to force the issue. I remember reading an article about Spirited Away once, in which Miyazaki says that No-Face is something like a stalker, and Chihiro's kindness to it without regard for her own (or her coworkers') safety is what leads to his corruption. For me, it's very uncomfortable to think about kindness as a negative trait, although I intellectually understand the point the idea is trying to make. Something to ponder.
Theo's story is a bit more unclear to me. So here's what I know about Theo (the other person climbing the mountain that Madeline meets along the way):
- He has a real Instagram (I love this so much)
- He was very close to his grandfather, who had a life-changing experience on Celeste Mountain as a young man, and has passed away
- He really wants to reach 1000 followers on InstaPix!
- He doesn't feel a drive to reach the summit, he just wants to go as far as he can, see some cool things along the way, and take photos for social media
- His sister Alex is extremely driven and accomplished (and Madeline reminds him of her), but he insists he's not envious of her
- He feels unsatisfied with his life and uncertain about who he wants to be, and has tried various things to try and correct it, such as moving to Seattle for a new job, which he hates. He then quit his new job after posting a photo of his grandfather to InstaPix and musing about whether his grandfather would be disappointed in him
- His grandfather taught him a breathing technique to help with panic attacks
- He gets sucked inside a mirror while taking a selfie inside a mysterious temple, and then subsequently trapped inside a crystal, while huge eyes in the temple walls follow him wherever
- He's freed from the crystal by being thrown into a giant eyeball. (If you're reading this and are unfamiliar with the game, no, it's not a horror game, but this part is pretty creepy, yes.)
So I think the eyes in the temple walls represent his desire to be noticed (eg. on social media), but I'm not sure what to make of the crystal. Is it the way he feels trapped by his life? Trapped by his unwillingness to commit to anything permanent? That's... sort of the opposite of feeling trapped though. Trapped by the expectations he doesn't think he can live up to?
Some final notes:
- I've seen a few people make the joke that because Madeline's mom's sprite during the phone call has blue hair, she's permanently lost her dash. I like to think her mom just had to dash to answer the phone instead ;)
- With regard to Madeline's age, the way she talks about work and her life definitely sounds like an adult to me. Probably older than Theo.
- On that note, I love that Theo immediately thinks Madeline is having problems at work (which she denies) - projecting much?
- Unpopular opinion alert: my favourite B-Side track is chapter 2's, "Old Site (Black Moonrise Mix)"
- But my favourite A-Side is "Reach for the Summit"
- I'm looking forward to watching some Twitch streamers play Chapter 9 when it's released!